Actually I was actively recruited when I was a teenager by the Marines. The recruiter took me out for a steak dinner then to a strip club even though I was under age. That was really cool, a 17 year old in a strip club courtesy of the US govt.

But I said no fucking way, I had a kid and another baby on the way. I couldn't leave.

Well, all the kids are grown now and the Army has upped the maximum age limit to join the military and made me eligible. So I decided to check it out because I figured that the Army could use some in shape, mature, and experienced people that know how to shoot, build and lead.

The talk with recruiter kind of ended something like this.......


Recruiter dude: Do you have a criminal record.

Hairball: Yes, but it's just misdemeanors, I've never been convicted of any of the felonies.

Recruiter dude: How many misdemeanors?

Hairball: I don't know, with plea bargains and all it's hard to say, I've been around a long time you know and most of this shit was when I was young, and I know they kinda lose the records over the years, and there's statutes of limitations and I've had some stuff expunged....did i mention that I can speak arabic?

Recruiter dude: Can you tell me how many misdemeanors? Was it two, three, four?

Hairball: Let's see... (starts thinking about court judgements), umm 1, 2 , 3 ,4, but that was back in the 80's Not sure if that shit's still on my record or not or what identity I was using back then 5, 6,...

Recruiter dude: (getting impatient) Just give me an estimate.

Hairball: OK, I'd guess more than 30 but less than 40, I'm really not sure though. I don't really keep track of that shit.

Recruiter dude: Well you should get your records and get back with me, I can't..

Hairball: I understand. Wanna get some lunch, I'll buy.

Recruiter dude: No, I can't.




But I have been offered a job from a contractor to run a concrete crew for some pretty damn good money in Iraq, which would also help the war effort. But I don't think I'm going to take it knowing the fate of many contractors in Iraq. There is a big security issue and contractors there may soon be subject to some fucked up foriegn laws with no immunity whatsoever. To take that risk they need to sweeten the pot a bit.

But I do commend you forumers who have served in our armed forces. I would be there with you in this time of war if I could because I think it's very important. And if the Army gets desperate enough I will be.

__________________
There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know. -- Rummy

Wise words from a wise man.