Thread: New 500-man elite fighting unit

Got this in e=mail yesterday. Thought it was funny. And CBM this has nothing to do with politics.

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the US Redneck Special Forces (USRSF). These southern boys will be dropped in Afghanistan knowing only these facts about terrorists.

1.The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They dont like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt. The Pentagon expects the problem in Afghanistan to be over by Monday.

Hell yeah!!!!

Originally Posted by wooyarn

5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

THOSE BASTARDS!!!!

Can a yankee from Ohio sign up?

Originally Posted by hairballxavier

THOSE BASTARDS!!!!

Can a yankee from Ohio sign up?

Only if you don't mind being called a dirty Yank!

I know "redneck" usually refers to southerners, but I've known plenty of northern rednecks.

Redneck snowplow:



Redneck beer cooler:



(also see "Sarah Palin", lol)

By Monday? Are there some provisions for events made by the Pentagon? Or do the 500 men have the weekend free?

Originally Posted by Mrs. M

Only if you don't mind being called a dirty Yank!

I wouldn't have to tell them I'm from Ohio. I could disguise my voice to sound southern, I'm really good at imitations (great fun on karaoke night). And on the acoustic guitar I can hang with any southern boy playin' dueling banjos, which IIRC is the test they use to see if someone is a damn yankee or not. The only problem I can forsee would be that when they ask me to pass the grits at breakfast I wouldn't know what grits are.

Then they might take me for a terrorist spy, what with the long hair and beard and all. Or maybe even a hippie.

I guess it's a moot point though. It's already past 6 PM Monday in Afghanistan, so all of them damned NASCAR hatin' terrorists are probably already dead anyways.

Originally Posted by hairballxavier

I wouldn't have to tell them I'm from Ohio. I could disguise my voice to sound southern, I'm really good at imitations (great fun on karaoke night). And on the acoustic guitar I can hang with any southern boy playin' dueling banjos, which IIRC is the test they use to see if someone is a damn yankee or not. The only problem I can forsee would be that when they ask me to pass the grits at breakfast I wouldn't know what grits are.

Then they might take me for a terrorist spy, what with the long hair and beard and all. Or maybe even a hippie.

I guess it's a moot point though. It's already past 6 PM Monday in Afghanistan, so all of them damned NASCAR hatin' terrorists are probably already dead anyways.

Forget Dueling Banjos....just gotta know how to play Lynrd Skynrd, Jerry Jeff Walker, CCR, ZZ Top, etc..
Long hair and beard is just fine down here....my honey had both until he cut his hair for Locks of Love last January.
As for the grits, I think they're Speakeasy's favorite dish. (It's ground corn and I love mine with butter and salt.)

Originally Posted by Mrs. M

As for the grits, I think they're Speakeasy's favorite dish. (It's ground corn and I love mine with butter and salt.)

Maple syrup.

Originally Posted by Jefe

I know "redneck" usually refers to southerners, but I've known plenty of northern rednecks.

Redneck snowplow:



Redneck beer cooler:



(also see "Sarah Palin", lol)

Redneck wading pool:


Redneck hot tub: